(Virtual) Winds of Change
- At February 21, 2017
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes, Real Life, Uncategorized
0
{I wrote this 3 months ago, and having finished the necessary “phases” I talk about below, I can honestly say that it has been very beneficial. Around my birthday Nathan introduced me to Socionics and it was incredibly helpful and validating about my choices (read: it’s accuracy about intertype relations freaked us both out – especially in regards to particularly hard relationships that I had been struggling with for sometime). That being said, I wanted to give myself some time to see how I viewed decision and felt about the resulting change before posting it publicly.}
* * *
In the last days before we left Ohio for Texas, I was grateful for the trip, but more than ready to be home and launch into ‘Little Prince mode’: just me, Nathan, and Autumn on our little planet watching sunsets and keeping a lookout for baobabs. The election after-math intensified this desire and left me daydreaming about giving into Mennonite fantasies: modified Amish quilting bees with local friends, selective play-dates, and church gatherings – the end.
So I largely stayed off FB and created an alternative feed so I could continue to follow pages I adore. Internally, I quieted quite a bit from just that and it was awesome. Since my home and the atmosphere in it are two of my highest priorities, I work hard to be intentional about what enters it from food to toys. Yet each time I opened FB I was allowing myself to invite unintentional, uncensored life in – with me being the gate: my family had to deal with a dip in my mood or my under-the-surface anger at social justice issues.
By choosing to disengage, I no longer had to put energy into empathizing with others pain and emotionally recovering from news of numerous far-off tragedies each week. (I agree that Believers should be the most active in the lives of the marginalized, and able to grieve very profoundly for the hurting – but I have to be selective because it can easily take a toll. Plus — this ain’t the season. Hopefully as the kids get older and I’ve worked through my childhood more, I’ll be able to foster and adopt and bring a whole and surrendered woman to that fight).
I was also able to put to rest the nagging reality that there’s half a continent between myself and old friends. While I enjoy keeping up with what’s happening in their lives and offering kind or caring words along the way, the truth that I can no longer be in their lives to the degree I’d like to be is hard on a highly-relational gal such as myself. Being reminded of the separation on a daily basis impacts my spirit in a negative way (read: it’s a downer).
* * *
As with my parenting and my faith, I started looking backwards (typical ISFJ) at traditional tribes and how humans have evolved to live and function. The question became: are we really meant to be frequently blasted by all this and have to carry it day-in-and-day-out?
No.
at least it’s not working for me.
A Dabbling Year in a Blog Post
- At June 19, 2016
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes, Homesteading, Moving, Self-Discovery
- 0
1st blog post in forever! Man, it felt so good to see the admin dashboard on my screen again.
Well – the reason I’ve been so absent these past few months is the same reason I was this time last year . . . we moved. . . . (again).
We’re almost positive the ringing in our ears is caused by the screeching halt of our ‘moving’ gears. We’re crazy spent.
I so miss the beauty and the bigness of those 5 acres. It was a gorgeous piece of land. While I don’t want to get into everything on a public forum, I’ll share the more personal reasons we decided to head back to ATX. It wasn’t financial (renting in Austin’s a bit more expensive than owning in a county over), and it wasn’t that we didn’t like homesteading – we were mostly dabbling, but I found I did enjoy it.
Read More»Showing Up
- At October 30, 2015
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes, Quotes
- 0
I’ve given way too much thought to my critics this week. My whole life, really. But this week, I’ve been in a tailspin trying to find a way to stop the movement and get grounded.
So much so, that at 3am today, after finally giving up on going back to sleep because of the thoughts in my head adding density to the pit growing in my stomach – I decided getting up and going on facebook or reading a Psalm would be healthier.
So glad I did.
I found this talk thought I wasn’t looking for it (while reading this). So impactful.
Brene talks about saying to our critics “I see you, I hear you . . . but I’m showing up anyway and this is what I’m doing. I’ve saved a seat for you, and you’re welcome to come – but I’m not interested in your feedback.” (My take on it, not her *exact* words).
She also says that our worse critics are ourselves (of course, right?) and reminded me that Nathan is my number one fan and supporter. (I really love him).
So while I still need to clarify my values, distinguish the good that I was blessed with in my family and growing up life (and release the negatives), and figure out how it is that I want to “show up” I’m just going to start. It’ll be messy and I’m positive there will be copious amonts of cringing in the future – I like the things I’m into. And I want to step into that place of vulnerability whether I feel “ready” or not.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” — FTR, Referenced by Brene
What a kick-ass quote.
Morgan (Loves To) REID.
Rediscovering Jesus :: Part 2 – Finding Anglicanism
- At September 10, 2015
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes, Ordinary Radical, Reflections
- 0
In Part 1, I wrote about how Nathan and I had come to love Jesus and hate what the American Church had become.
I ended by sharing that God used the Liturgy to guide Nathan and I into a new Way:
It was a couple months after we moved into our new house: money was tight, I was still getting used to our 3rd move in 18 months, we were experiencing record rains, the city of Austin actually flooded, and boxes and scorpions abounded.
Scrolling through facebook I saw an eye-catching photo for an event at a church about the Liturgy. My interest was sparked because Nathan and I had purchased The Book of Common Prayer in January to create rhythms and weave God into our home. We loved its beautiful language and knowing that Christians all over the world were saying nearly the same prayers – it seemed like it would be a great fit. May came and we still didn’t fully know about all of its history or how to fully use it to enrich our spiritual lives.
Long Time, No Write.
- At August 15, 2015
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes, Moving, Updates
- 0
It has really been 3 months since I last blogged. It’s been hard being away! But at the same time, I want to write from a place of substance and creativity – and I’ve been fresh out of both. It’s been a little more like ‘divide and conquer’ with all we have going on at the Reid Establishment these days.
In the past three months I’ve:
- Bought a house
- Started renovations and organizations of said house
- Found someone to re-lease our apartment to
- Started myofascial release coupled with emotional/spiritual counseling (including all the work that goes along with healing physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Even habitually. Oh, and major breakthroughs! I’ve analyzed my life countless times and a stranger is able to give me amazing insight.)
- Started Christian counseling
- Found a church home in an totally new-to-me form of Christianity (The Anglican Way.)
- Started Catechism classes
- Started attending a women’s group
- Started a system-reset diet that’s the most restrictive of anything we’ve ever done. Think paleo but only 7 fruits, no vinegar, and no tea (*sobs*). I call it the “Worse-than-Whole-30.”
- Along with said diet, I’ve been cooking three meals and a snack from scratch. Every single day. If Nate takes a meal or we eat within the means of the diet at chipotle that takes off a couple meals. But I don’t really like cooking, so it’s a bit of a drain each time and takes a lot of time and attention, with a toddler especially.
- Night weaned my 21 month old. Praise God!
- Participated in a Breastfeeding in public photo shoot for World Breastfeeding Week.
All this on top of going to mom meet ups, cleaning, laundry, and the usual toddler teething/nap refusal/ night wake ups.
I’ve wanted to partake in all of the above for quite some time, but I didn’t imagine it all happening at once. There was so much we had to put off in order to save for a house and I was hesitant to start something I’d have to discontinue if our house ended up being too far away. But here we are. The gate has swung wide open and this horse & jockey is going for it. On the other hand, this structured mama needs life to slooooow down, but we’re making it. This is how it’s panning out and soon (if God wills) I’ll be pregnant and sick and tired most of the day and 9 months later I’ll enter into newborn-toddler-survival-mode.
So truly, now is the time. And even in the chaos, it’s been good. Feels like a big exhale and a splash of fresh water. Nathan just finished setting up my computer this week and so I’m excited to start writing about the above and all the other things that matter to me.
Here we go!
Morgan (loves to) Reid
Our 1st Year in Austin: Part II – ‘But Why Texas?’
- At May 07, 2015
- By Morgan Reid
- In Austin, Changes
- 0
Before I thought about making this a series, I was just writing a post wrap-up post on our past year in Austin when it occurred to me that I should probably start off by explaining *why* we chose to move here.
Because, I mean . . . it’s Texas.
Photo Cred@ BuzzFeed: Why you should live in Texas
Read More»
Meeting in The Middle
- At November 28, 2014
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes
- 0
Since getting married, Nate and I have really downplayed the holidays. I’ve always loved them but getting him excited and out the door to join friends and family was a feat and we were often late. I took his resistance as a “need” because he’s an introvert. Similarly, I jumped on his “why do we spend money on this/buy gifts just because it’s a holiday” bandwagon. — His reasons all made sense and I knew that I had to work on becoming frugal, so I adopted his views. Plus, . . . I’m a people-pleaser, ok! I like being in harmony with the people close to me.
This worked out, and honestly I probably could have kept it up as a mom too. That is until we found out that I’m an “ESFJ.” Finding out my Myers-Briggs personality has brought tremendous joy, freedom, and healing for me. (I can’t wait to share more about this in future posts).
While reading about my “type”, one of the 1st things we took notice of was the importance that traditions and decorating for most ESFJs. Whereas Nathan’s personality type (INTP) could view them as an unnecessary use of money and a way to clutter up the house (–these aren’t bad things. No judgement; INTPs tend to be very logical thinkers and value minimalism), I view them as a way to love my family, make a house into a haven, and celebrate life together. All very fundamental to me and how I work.
So we’re working to meet in the middle: I’ll keep the budget in check and won’t go crazy with the amount of decorations. He’ll work on accepting traditions and gatherings as a vital part of my well being and enjoy our little family getting to make memories together 🙂
A Renewal.
- At November 08, 2014
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes
- 0
I listen to voices.
(Maybe that was a bit too much for an opening line? . . .)
Well anyway, I have a big problem listening to voices and allowing too many outside influences stake their claim in my mind.
Excuse the Meyers-Briggs jargon, but basically:
– Fe makes me want to ppl please, and care about what others think.
– Si makes me want to live traditionally, follow how it’s always been done and do what’s expected and accepted.
– Ti fights for control, causing me to give into confounded logic, not based on resson, but feelings and perhaps a distorted view.
– And then quiet Ne whispers softly in the back ground that there’s something new and wonderful just out of reach – will I reach for it?
With all of the voices and thoughts vying for my attention I’m going a bit bonkers, to be honest, trying to please them all.
I think it’s time to reset and read and reread the bible. Give its truth the space it needs to run through my mind and seep down deep into my core. Until His ways are what I know. His guiding tug becomes THE voice that silences all the others.
But wait – isn’t that what God already told me?
Romans 12:2 HCSB
Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.
Yep. That’s what He said.
Only now I can take it in with a bit more self-awareness and stop taking my ques from those around me:
Not what Nate’s doing.
Not what the Spiritual Giants I admire are doing,
Not what I’m “supposed” to be doing.
But what makes sense for me and how I’m designed to work. To read and reread and allow this God-language, this language of faith and dependency to become my life’s language.
Considering future roadblocks, I think I get frustrated by opening my bible and not knowing where to start. Or following a plan, but it’s gotten so boring. So for now I’m just gonna read. No big production.
Just read, converse, meditate, adore, pray and live.
Over and over again. For me and Him.
Till these (already and soon-to-be) well-known tracks start playing loud enough to drown out all this noise.
And this mind is renewed.
Morgan (loves to) Reid
[*Originally Written 11.7.14]
A Reset.
- At November 08, 2014
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes
- 0
Saturday Morning I went into Nate’s office and we talked about the weekend, things we need to get accomplished and when best to do them. Somewhere in the midst of all -planning he drops “I want us to go back to Paleo this week.”
On Saturday morning. Saturday. Grocery Shopping day. *Cold Sweat*
Month One
- At May 27, 2014
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes
- 0
It’s been exactly a month since our plane landed in Austin on April 26th.
In many ways, we’re still settling in but I’m blown away by the ways God has paved our path and provided for us.
Looking back at all I stressed about and worried over, I’m humbled by how He’s shown His faithfulness, even in the smallest ways.
Socially:
I was so lonely in Stow, Oh. Part of that was my fault but I’m learning from that and it’s pushed me to change.
-I’ve gone to meet ups at the park, the movies, out to eat, breastfeeding groups, and a Story Sign (American Sign Language) book reading at the library.
-I posted in different Facebook groups listing the things I was into, how old Autumn was, and asking what things we could get involved in. That lead to 5 moms asking for playdates and the number has increased since then.
-One mom suggested groups and then said if I didn’t like any that I found, I should start my own. – What? Me?! My heart skipped a beat but at the same time, it seemed so refreshing. I haven’t needed to start a group, but I did connect all the moms and try formulating playdates that way. —WAYYY out of my comfort zone, but it’s gone really well! It fills an unreached part of my soul to see Autumn with kids her own age.
-The moms I’ve met up with have been awesome. Like really, really. We talk about hubbys, baby wearing, Austin, breastfeeding, spit-up: the usual. I really wondered when/if this kind of relationships would happen and so far, so good = )
-Some of the mom’s have geeky husbands! yay! Trying to see if Nate’ll go hang out with them.
The Plan: Continue meeting up with other moms (and for Nate, dudes), and not be such a hermit.
Physically:
{“Draining” our legs after a Mother’s Day Hike}
-I’ve gone to each Saturday workout offered by our apartment place (except the last one because of the playdate).
-I’m working on consistently going for walks with Audi, rebounding on the Bellicon, and not overeating.
-I’m definitely getting my upper body strength back. Audi’s getting heavier and holding her is getting easier – yaaaay.
-Signed Nate up for a Shaolin Kung Foo class! Scheduled for Wednesday, gosh I hope he likes it and gets to keep going. = ) He’s also been walking, running, and strength training.
The Plan: Continue working on health (taking supplements more regularly, eating nutrition-packed foods, taking quick naps during the day, strengthening feet, etc.) and jiggling less.
Emotionally:
-I’m working on not reacting based on emotion – Quiet and Gentle Spirit (1 Peter 3)
-Letting Jesus be my anchor, so I’m not so easily swayed, and so I can be flexible when things don’t go how I pictured. (Hebrews 6)
-While I always want to grow in patience and selflessness with Autumn, I’m working on remembering that my goal shouldn’t be Autumn’s happiness, but letting Jesus source me into a “Christlike Mama Shepard” (Thoughts on David’s life and Psalms)
-I’m also working on using sweet words and tones with Nate and trying to respect him like God yearns for me to.
-Nate’s awesome with emotions. Gold stars all around.
The Plan: These will always be works-in-progress and I’m reminding myself to give myself grace and be ok with that, it’s a part of Sanctification and becoming more like Christ. But the plan is to not get discourage when I mess up, and more readily ask for His mercy, forgiveness, and Sourcing in each area.
Spiritually:
-We’ve visited two churches so far, and I feel like we could go to either and make it work, but right now it’s too soon to settle. I really like the second one we visited, but Nate didn’t and it’s important to me that he’s not a hermit fulfilled in this area too so we’re prayerfully continuing the search. Not because being a Christian means you have to go to a church, but because we long for fellowship like we’ve read about in Acts 2 and this amazing book.
– I did some digging and after tracking people down on Facebook and messaging, I’ve found a House Church here in South Austin. Excited to check it out this Friday! = )
-I’m working on coming back to my 1st love. When I 1st started getting to know Jesus, there was just so much delight and effortlessness in our relationship. (I’ll be writing about my testimony soon) There was a “lightness” too it that I feel has gotten choked out in an effort to avoid worshiping a “jesus of my own making”. So instead of beating myself into a box trying to study God the right way, live the right way, do EVERYTHING the right way (which is what? exactly?) I just started avoiding “growing” all together so I wouldn’t “grow” the wrong way. Pssssh. Forget that.
-Nate’s loving his Torah class, and we both enjoy blessing Abba (like Jesus, did by saying “Blessed is He”) and saying Scripture to Autumn.
The Plan: continue learning about 1st century Jewish culture and rekindling that something-special that was between Jesus and I before the cares of this life suffocated it.
Kingdom-Speaking
-We’ve gotten way more into recycling and cutting down on plastic. This was in no small part influenced by the recycling bin right outside our apartment.
-I’m learning to fight my fears by being a voice for victims of things that scare me, like human-trafficking and the 276 girls who are experiencing horror right now.
-Still trying to find/pray about how Jesus wants me to serve, besides just loving on the people He places in my path. I want to intentionally find a way to befriend the “least of these,” seeing His face in theirs.
-Nate’s working on some very exciting stuff.
The Plan: look into serving opportunities
Domestic
-I’ve made mango/pineapple salsa, chopped chicken salad, a ton of smoothies
-All of our bulk spices and foods are in glass jars
The Plan: make yogurt and bone broth in the pressure cooker, kefir water, sauerkraut, and traditional sourdough bread.
Other Fun Stuff:
-Started Autumn on probiotics (important for c-section babes)
-Went to Austin Antique Mall and got a cast iron skillet the size of my hand and this photo that took my breath away.
– &&& joined a co-op!
-&&&& got a car!
{Still working on a name. I’m thinking Cami after Camille Leblanc-Bazinet}
The Plan: Enjoy life and count/praise God for all the gifts He sends each day.
I’m hoping to keep up with this kind of record-keeping so that we can really chronically our days here and make the most of them. = )
All that being said, I want to take a moment to acknowledge my lust to have things go the way I want them to and my need to feel on top of things. Perfectionism and control are gloried in our culture (and in my heart) but they don’t belong in His Kingdom. I don’t want my goal to be to live the right way, and not get to know the Right Person . I don’t want to strive to gain control over my circumstances and environment only to look back in despair realizing that I did all I could and it wasn’t worth it. “Gaining” the world while losing my soul; chained to my accomplishments, but not anchored to Him.
(**Also, while I wanted to keep this light and positive, I don’t want to paint the picture that our life is perfect either. Austin is better than we expected it would be and things are going well, but just like everyone else there are things we’d love to not have to contend with: a fussy baby, not enough time to do the things we’d like, debt, bills we weren’t expecting, loud neighbors, barking dogs, family issues, a dryer that takes 2 rounds to dry, headaches, traffic, etc., – and I got bit by a fire ant. those buggers pack a punch! ; ) **)
Morgan (loves to) Reid
