You Can’t have Nice Things – Part I

Has anyone ever told you that “you can’t have nice things”? A joking way of calling someone a klutz?

This post isn’t about me thinking I can’t have nice things, but my struggle with wondering if I *shouldn’t* . . .

{See the flowers up there? I love it! Love how happy Autumn was when she saw me so much more! }

I recently bought some flowers to put in a vase on our counter top.

I never do that.

It’s more than me “trying to be frugal,” (which I am, but) it’s mostly because I can’t shake guilt from the thoughts that roll around in my head: how can I spend money on something that’s already dying when kids are going without food, mothers working in the inner-city couldn’t afford them, and families in refugee camps don’t even have a counter to put flowers on? 

Just like  in my post about comfort vs. hardship – I’m still struggling. Still looking for answers and seeking balance.

I’m starting to think that maybe I should just give up and move on. Ok, so I won’t have happy, pretty things (even if they’re thoughtful, responsible buys) but then I won’t have to worry about if I’m in the wrong or not.

No harm, no foul, right?

Expect, . . . I know how these things make my heart sing. Flowers in vases, yummy lit candles, the sound of water . . . it’s how God made me. How do I enjoy these things while making sure I don’t step outside of His boundaries: over-indulging myself, ignoring my neighbor?I love Spiritual Mom-Giants like authors Sally Clarkson, Elizabeth Foss, and Ann Voskamp. They’re words compel me to know and enjoy my God, and love and serve my family. A common theme in their writing is the importance placed on beautifying our homes; turning them into places of refuge where God’s presence can be felt and His love of beauty displayed.

As I read, my heart nods in agreement, but my head is screaming: “But the money! From hardwood floors to decorations and furnishings: How can you spend money on yourself like that (without feeling heaps of guilt)?! Even if you’re buying from the Dollar Store, and making the crafts yourself – money is still being spent! How are they so at peace with it?”

Hear me out: I don’t doubt that they work hard, save, reach out in missions, make responsible choices, “go without” and exercise self-control. But that’s the problem. Even when all the above apply to us, I still feel like it somehow must be wrong.

And I’m not just talkin’ material possessions. . .While walking on a hike, I breathe in, raise my arms, face the sunshine, thank God and . . . think about how kids in the inner city don’t have access to nature like this (and how it might not be safe for them to go out even if they did). They are stuck in concrete boxes.

While reading Autumn a book, I relish having her close; & wonder if she’ll enjoy this for years to come, and find a love of reading because of these times . . . and think about all the kids whose parents just don’t care, or are too strapped at the end of the day to read to them.

Or while making Nate hot chocolate; driving in my car with the windows down, listening to FM Static, etc, etc.  — The list goes on and on and  it’s mind-numbing.

Little Potato Spud!

Then I consider the numerous Scriptures that tell of God giving His children things specifically for their enjoyment. He takes pleasure in it and is gloried.

So I’m digging in and changing my perspective. More to come in Part II.