(Virtual) Winds of Change
- At February 21, 2017
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes, Real Life, Uncategorized
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{I wrote this 3 months ago, and having finished the necessary “phases” I talk about below, I can honestly say that it has been very beneficial. Around my birthday Nathan introduced me to Socionics and it was incredibly helpful and validating about my choices (read: it’s accuracy about intertype relations freaked us both out – especially in regards to particularly hard relationships that I had been struggling with for sometime). That being said, I wanted to give myself some time to see how I viewed decision and felt about the resulting change before posting it publicly.}
* * *
In the last days before we left Ohio for Texas, I was grateful for the trip, but more than ready to be home and launch into ‘Little Prince mode’: just me, Nathan, and Autumn on our little planet watching sunsets and keeping a lookout for baobabs. The election after-math intensified this desire and left me daydreaming about giving into Mennonite fantasies: modified Amish quilting bees with local friends, selective play-dates, and church gatherings – the end.
So I largely stayed off FB and created an alternative feed so I could continue to follow pages I adore. Internally, I quieted quite a bit from just that and it was awesome. Since my home and the atmosphere in it are two of my highest priorities, I work hard to be intentional about what enters it from food to toys. Yet each time I opened FB I was allowing myself to invite unintentional, uncensored life in – with me being the gate: my family had to deal with a dip in my mood or my under-the-surface anger at social justice issues.
By choosing to disengage, I no longer had to put energy into empathizing with others pain and emotionally recovering from news of numerous far-off tragedies each week. (I agree that Believers should be the most active in the lives of the marginalized, and able to grieve very profoundly for the hurting – but I have to be selective because it can easily take a toll. Plus — this ain’t the season. Hopefully as the kids get older and I’ve worked through my childhood more, I’ll be able to foster and adopt and bring a whole and surrendered woman to that fight).
I was also able to put to rest the nagging reality that there’s half a continent between myself and old friends. While I enjoy keeping up with what’s happening in their lives and offering kind or caring words along the way, the truth that I can no longer be in their lives to the degree I’d like to be is hard on a highly-relational gal such as myself. Being reminded of the separation on a daily basis impacts my spirit in a negative way (read: it’s a downer).
* * *
As with my parenting and my faith, I started looking backwards (typical ISFJ) at traditional tribes and how humans have evolved to live and function. The question became: are we really meant to be frequently blasted by all this and have to carry it day-in-and-day-out?
No.
at least it’s not working for me.
Specific Rest
I’m looking forward to writing another Sensate post in which I can talk about how much closer Jesus feels to me than He did a couple months ago. Through the use of beeswax candles, absolution with a priest, and morning walks, I feel like I can sense Him again.
However this post is more from the fruit of that, which is why I mentioned it.
I was thinking this morning of Matthew 11:28-29
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
I’ve viewed those verses in a very general way: “Jesus acknowledges that life on this earth is hard and He’s saying He’ll lighten the load in someway. How nice of Him.” but after my absolution I’m experiencing this truth in a very different way.
Read More»Rough Sketch Ideals
- At November 28, 2016
- By Morgan Reid
- In Autumn, Reflections
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10 mintues after running through my usual list of ideas and concerns while laying in bed this a.m., I finally felt like it was acceptable to open my eyes. Looking to see if Nate was still in the room and were Autumn was lying – both were found and both I found amusing: We currently sleep on 5 felted wool layers on the floor. She was laying at the corner with one arm extended onto the to floor and one foot propped-up against the opposite leg: full cheeks, messy puffballs, super cute. Nate was directly underneath her which is also amusing. : )
My mind went back to baby’s positioning in my womb and my concerns about it, even at only 27 weeks. Autumn was double footling breech, so this is a biggy for me.
I start taking those concerns to Him even though it feels “off.” Much like I’m a dud of a daughter who mostly just disappoints while choosing her own thing, except when I come back asking for something I need.
Ouch.
It’s unfamiliar territory, truly. I rarely felt like I disappointed my earthly (adoptive, grand)parents – they were thrilled that I tended to follow the rules, went to church, got good grades, and showed no interest in parties, substance abuse, or the “wrong crowd.” It was another story with my bio mom – before age 13 I can’t say I felt she saw me much at all, one of the many downsides to being a mother with a drug addiction.
Alright, where was I?
Oh yeah, being a screw up daughter (or at least feeling that way. It’s a weird dynamic having 3 parents influencing your idea of God and how you relate to Him). It’s not that I can’t have another c-section – yes, a healthy mom and healthy baby are my highest request – but as a girl strongly tied to her ideals, oh how badly I want this to be a smooth transition for my family, for Autumn.
So I focus on praying for that instead – not for a certain type of birth, or even what the transition should look like according to me (or the books and articles I’ve read), but really simply — for grace.
Read More»Our 1st Year in Austin: Part II – ‘But Why Texas?’
- At May 07, 2015
- By Morgan Reid
- In Austin, Changes
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Before I thought about making this a series, I was just writing a post wrap-up post on our past year in Austin when it occurred to me that I should probably start off by explaining *why* we chose to move here.
Because, I mean . . . it’s Texas.
Read More»
The Flip-Side
- At April 25, 2015
- By Morgan Reid
- In Quotes
1
Found these descriptions of our personality types and they’re so good, I’m reposting for safe keeping : )
Me, the ESFJ
“You’ve got to stop. Seriously. Your whole “I’ve got to do everything for everybody all the time” lifestyle not only makes you stressed out, but it’s often more about you controlling everything. Take some time for yourself occasionally and do some “soul searching.”
And no, I don’t mean “Watch more reality TV.” Understand that there’s more to life than pleasing other people so you can feel good about yourself. Read a book, watch an in-depth movie, stretch your mental capacity.
Though that last one shouldn’t be too hard for you, so you should try it sometime and better yourself in ways you’ve previously only thought nerds did.”
Nate, the INTP
“This is almost too easy a target. They’re so absent minded, it hurts. The Rational cousin of the INFP, the INTP doesn’t want to solve world hunger, they would prefer to come up with ideas to feed everybody at the same time just because it’s interesting to them at the moment. They’ll forget about it the next day and voila! Nothing has been accomplished and years have been wasted.
“Why are you doing things that way? Clearly, if you add X to Y, your obvious answer is **&#(. You don’t get this? How could you not get this? You don’t agree? You must have not been listening. I’ll go over it again.”
Also, stop trying to come up with plans on how to make things better for anybody when your only way of explaining the problem to people is by running over them with logic and explaining something that doesn’t cross most people’s minds to begin with. Then you’ll whine about the people that don’t listen. Among other things, what you’re talking about is BOOOOOORING.
Don’t spend so much time railing against the system and criticizing others for just living the way they do.”
Thank you so much, zombiesruineverything.com! Nathan and I were cracking up!
Meeting in The Middle
- At November 28, 2014
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes
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Since getting married, Nate and I have really downplayed the holidays. I’ve always loved them but getting him excited and out the door to join friends and family was a feat and we were often late. I took his resistance as a “need” because he’s an introvert. Similarly, I jumped on his “why do we spend money on this/buy gifts just because it’s a holiday” bandwagon. — His reasons all made sense and I knew that I had to work on becoming frugal, so I adopted his views. Plus, . . . I’m a people-pleaser, ok! I like being in harmony with the people close to me.
This worked out, and honestly I probably could have kept it up as a mom too. That is until we found out that I’m an “ESFJ.” Finding out my Myers-Briggs personality has brought tremendous joy, freedom, and healing for me. (I can’t wait to share more about this in future posts).
While reading about my “type”, one of the 1st things we took notice of was the importance that traditions and decorating for most ESFJs. Whereas Nathan’s personality type (INTP) could view them as an unnecessary use of money and a way to clutter up the house (–these aren’t bad things. No judgement; INTPs tend to be very logical thinkers and value minimalism), I view them as a way to love my family, make a house into a haven, and celebrate life together. All very fundamental to me and how I work.
So we’re working to meet in the middle: I’ll keep the budget in check and won’t go crazy with the amount of decorations. He’ll work on accepting traditions and gatherings as a vital part of my well being and enjoy our little family getting to make memories together 🙂