(Virtual) Winds of Change
- At February 21, 2017
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes, Real Life, Uncategorized
0
{I wrote this 3 months ago, and having finished the necessary “phases” I talk about below, I can honestly say that it has been very beneficial. Around my birthday Nathan introduced me to Socionics and it was incredibly helpful and validating about my choices (read: it’s accuracy about intertype relations freaked us both out – especially in regards to particularly hard relationships that I had been struggling with for sometime). That being said, I wanted to give myself some time to see how I viewed decision and felt about the resulting change before posting it publicly.}
* * *
In the last days before we left Ohio for Texas, I was grateful for the trip, but more than ready to be home and launch into ‘Little Prince mode’: just me, Nathan, and Autumn on our little planet watching sunsets and keeping a lookout for baobabs. The election after-math intensified this desire and left me daydreaming about giving into Mennonite fantasies: modified Amish quilting bees with local friends, selective play-dates, and church gatherings – the end.
So I largely stayed off FB and created an alternative feed so I could continue to follow pages I adore. Internally, I quieted quite a bit from just that and it was awesome. Since my home and the atmosphere in it are two of my highest priorities, I work hard to be intentional about what enters it from food to toys. Yet each time I opened FB I was allowing myself to invite unintentional, uncensored life in – with me being the gate: my family had to deal with a dip in my mood or my under-the-surface anger at social justice issues.
By choosing to disengage, I no longer had to put energy into empathizing with others pain and emotionally recovering from news of numerous far-off tragedies each week. (I agree that Believers should be the most active in the lives of the marginalized, and able to grieve very profoundly for the hurting – but I have to be selective because it can easily take a toll. Plus — this ain’t the season. Hopefully as the kids get older and I’ve worked through my childhood more, I’ll be able to foster and adopt and bring a whole and surrendered woman to that fight).
I was also able to put to rest the nagging reality that there’s half a continent between myself and old friends. While I enjoy keeping up with what’s happening in their lives and offering kind or caring words along the way, the truth that I can no longer be in their lives to the degree I’d like to be is hard on a highly-relational gal such as myself. Being reminded of the separation on a daily basis impacts my spirit in a negative way (read: it’s a downer).
* * *
As with my parenting and my faith, I started looking backwards (typical ISFJ) at traditional tribes and how humans have evolved to live and function. The question became: are we really meant to be frequently blasted by all this and have to carry it day-in-and-day-out?
No.
at least it’s not working for me.
November ’16.
Autumn reading; Vitamin Nature; Slowing down; domestic exploration; and lots of hiking + walking ::
Learning (How) to Walk
- At November 25, 2016
- By Morgan Reid
- In Bodywork, Slowing Focus
- 0
I’ve talked before about hoping to up my walking and go slower —- but that was written while trying to sell a house.
We did sell, and with new values in mind we were able to rent a place near walking trails.
I got pregnant a week after we sold the house and my 1st trimester was really exhausting – probably the progesterone I was taking. However, 2nd trimester I’ve been able to up my miles quite a bit. Not yet to the 5 miles a day suggested for a VBAC, but most days 3 comes rather easily. So far I’ve been going to bed with Autumn and then waking up just before sunrise so I can walk the hour before Nate starts working. It’s stroller-free and I get to listen to Podcasts : ) Then I take Autumn out later in the day and try to get her to walk some with me. That – as expected – is a hit or miss endeavor so I think I’m going to have to abandon a few principles and just start bringing the stroller and encouraging her to walk periodically. Here’s to hope.
But to say that I’m just walking wouldn’t be true. Actually, there’s a *lot* happening as I’m training myself to walk correctly. Following the guidelines of Katy Bowman at Nutritious Movement and her book, Move Your DNA, I’ve packed the following into the phrase “I’m working on my walking”:
{Art cred: Nathan with some charcoal. If you’ve read The Little Prince, can you spot the sheep?}
Looking for Focus
- At March 30, 2016
- By Morgan Reid
- In Slowing Focus
- 0
I’m experiencing quite a bit of difficulty with something that didn’t used to be a problem: while I enjoy “doing” things, I really don’t enjoy just “being.” The problem is, “being” jives a lot better with motherhood than “doing.”
It’s probably healthier to enjoy, meander, and observe, but I’d rather learn, produce, and accomplish. There’s a satisfying rush that comes with “finishing” (“I made/did this!”) and having something to show for my time makes me feel better about myself, and how people see me.
If only there weren’t always so much more to be “doing” or I didn’t feel the pressure to learn a lot about a lot of things *right now*. It’s like I feel really behind and there’s an urgency to acquire this or that skill, implement that practice, expound on that thought, and create that thing.
Contrasting this with simply enjoying “being”, and I might find satisfaction in walking, instead of reaching the end of the walk, or in putting a line through “take a 3 mile walk.” That would be so great, because honestly, unless I’m engaged in conversation, I hate the “walk” part – But I want to find satisfaction in walking and not care so much about getting to the destination (even with a toddler).
This recent pull to transition from “doing” to “being” has me kind of stumped. *But how?! How do I do that? How do I manufacture feelings and completely shift my mindset? Argh!*
Then I remembered a book I read a couple years ago that might really help me now that I’m ready to change lanes and slow down. While, I read through it pretty quickly and it resonated very much with my “small world” heart (I’m very home-oriented and domestic in nature), I so was fixated on what my other mom friends were doing and able to accomplish during this season, that I wasn’t ready to take a backseat to all the “fun”. 2 years later, I’m tired and worn out and would like to try implementing his ideas and blogging about the experience as a way to keep me on track and document the journey.
It’s called Living into Focus by Arthur Boers and if I remember correctly, his first “focus practice” was to go on a walk. : )
Morgan (loves to) Reid
