(Virtual) Winds of Change
- At February 21, 2017
- By Morgan Reid
- In Changes, Real Life, Uncategorized
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{I wrote this 3 months ago, and having finished the necessary “phases” I talk about below, I can honestly say that it has been very beneficial. Around my birthday Nathan introduced me to Socionics and it was incredibly helpful and validating about my choices (read: it’s accuracy about intertype relations freaked us both out – especially in regards to particularly hard relationships that I had been struggling with for sometime). That being said, I wanted to give myself some time to see how I viewed decision and felt about the resulting change before posting it publicly.}
* * *
In the last days before we left Ohio for Texas, I was grateful for the trip, but more than ready to be home and launch into ‘Little Prince mode’: just me, Nathan, and Autumn on our little planet watching sunsets and keeping a lookout for baobabs. The election after-math intensified this desire and left me daydreaming about giving into Mennonite fantasies: modified Amish quilting bees with local friends, selective play-dates, and church gatherings – the end.
So I largely stayed off FB and created an alternative feed so I could continue to follow pages I adore. Internally, I quieted quite a bit from just that and it was awesome. Since my home and the atmosphere in it are two of my highest priorities, I work hard to be intentional about what enters it from food to toys. Yet each time I opened FB I was allowing myself to invite unintentional, uncensored life in – with me being the gate: my family had to deal with a dip in my mood or my under-the-surface anger at social justice issues.
By choosing to disengage, I no longer had to put energy into empathizing with others pain and emotionally recovering from news of numerous far-off tragedies each week. (I agree that Believers should be the most active in the lives of the marginalized, and able to grieve very profoundly for the hurting – but I have to be selective because it can easily take a toll. Plus — this ain’t the season. Hopefully as the kids get older and I’ve worked through my childhood more, I’ll be able to foster and adopt and bring a whole and surrendered woman to that fight).
I was also able to put to rest the nagging reality that there’s half a continent between myself and old friends. While I enjoy keeping up with what’s happening in their lives and offering kind or caring words along the way, the truth that I can no longer be in their lives to the degree I’d like to be is hard on a highly-relational gal such as myself. Being reminded of the separation on a daily basis impacts my spirit in a negative way (read: it’s a downer).
* * *
As with my parenting and my faith, I started looking backwards (typical ISFJ) at traditional tribes and how humans have evolved to live and function. The question became: are we really meant to be frequently blasted by all this and have to carry it day-in-and-day-out?
No.
at least it’s not working for me.
November ’16.
Autumn reading; Vitamin Nature; Slowing down; domestic exploration; and lots of hiking + walking ::
HTTSS:F – 8.17.15
- At September 18, 2015
- By Morgan Reid
- In Reflections
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hear: autumn’s talk and musings
taste: the steeping room’s christmas tea. cinnamon, nutmeg, rosehips, and so much more more dancing delightfully on my tongue.
touch: autumn’s sweet soft pudgy skin. the hard chair beneath me. warm mug, almost too hot.
smell: the tea mostly.
sight: the tea’s french press. dishes needing to be done. a beautiful tree outside our kitchen window. colors bouncing green and yellow. mellow grey day.
how it makes me FEEL: like life is good and rich and worth treasuring. like taking the time to relish these things creates a sacred pause – time almost freezes for just a second. the tea makes me reminds me of Sally Clarkson and her family and makes me wonder and hope that I’m becoming more like her and realize that I am at the same time.
HTTSS:F – 1.13.15
- At January 14, 2015
- By Morgan Reid
- In Reflections
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Learning more about myself has helped me to realize just how big of a role the 5 senses play in my life. After reading this, I’ve been checking in with myself to savor life’s moments while they’re happening and it’s been so rewarding. I thought I’d share them here from time to time.
hear: gravel crunching under my feet, cars rumbling, birds chirping
taste: nothing
touch: my 5fingers, warm soft wool around my neck and chin, the stoller’s grippy handles under my fingers; under my palms through my gloves, my body’s heat despite the cold
smell: brilliantly cold, clean air. the kind you only get in january
see: green everywhere. in january. leaves, grass, bushes and flowers. thank you jesus and texas. a dog an it’ owner playing fetch, autumn ahead of me in the stroller, taking it all in
how it makes me FEEL: Alive. Like life all around me is waking up. Like embracing the cold and grey is such a worth-while undertaking because God designed this season for a reason. I’m truly learning to love January.
*
hear: chains rhythmically clanking, autumn’s short heavy breaths
taste: nothing
touch: chains through my gloves, her body sinking; pressing into me, wind hitting my face, strong leather holding me up,
smell: that crisp, cold wind. Aututmn’s hair pressing into my nose – smells like clouds and waterfalls – they don’t really have a scent to them, but really, they do.
see: enchanted-looking trees, green, a path, mulch and dirt. her aqua hoodie and maroon pants
how it makes me FEEL: sunken into wonder. I could have missed this. It feels like a Mother-Daughter moment captured, secured and wrapped in January. The clinking chains back-and-forth, the snugness of gloves and scarfs, her. I hope I remember it forever.
Morgan (loves to) Reid
[* orignially written 1.13.15]